Kaleidoscope Tinted Glasses

Uncertianity

2008-08-10T14:35:00.000-07:00

A few things have happened over the past week, not a whole bunch, but some at least.

I had my 19th birthday and I gladly did nothing on that day. No presents, no family, no cake, just peace and a little bit of isolation from the world. I don't feel any older, in fact I almost feel as if I'm younger, not in mentality but in spirit. I ended up going to a show my birthday weekend as well and me and a few other people got in for free for reason that won't be discussed.
Since then though, not too much has been happening. This is my last week of summer classes and I now have a near immunity from failing, which I'm quite glad, because my motivation was beginning to lack beyond my control. I'm actually kinda joyous that school is going to be back in session, it kept me busy and a few things off of my mind, it was also a social tool as well, which has transformed me into bit of a socialite lately. There is good friend, or two of mine that will be leaving for college as well, but the exception of them actually having to move away. It'll probably be a little tough for awhile, but hopefully we'll keep in touch via internet and such. That's not for another 2 weeks or so, I'm good till then.
I also noticed, since I don't buy school clothes and such anymore I always forget about buying clothes. I went shopping a few days and calculated how long its been since I've last shopped, a whopping 9 months. No wonder I hardly have new clothes.
Lately I've also been throwing around the idea of possibly trying out at this local acting/modeling studio near me. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy my major in college, as long as I stay a humanitarian, but I also have a dreams and aspirations still that I'd love to see accomplished.

Birthday Time & Some Selfishness

2008-08-01T09:55:00.000-07:00

It's almost my birthday, a couple more days. I'll be turning 19 soon, but that's only a number. If you were to ask me how I felt, I'd probably tell you some number in the young teens, I don't feel any older, just wiser. I tend to try to ignore my age and whatever number it is. You just end up getting stuck in a stereotypical self-awareness and think that your age has something to do with how you act and how you are. Me, myself, I'll act as I please no matter how old I am. I'd rather forget my age and just live.

I don't receive presents anymore, but I also tell my relatives and friends to not worry about it, it's just a hassle to ponder and try to find something I'll like. I tend to get a little bit of money still, just for the sake of it, the family just doesn't find it right if I receive nothing. With that being said, I probably haven't splurged on myself, currency wise, in about 2 years. This is without including buying few necessities like clothes and shoes. I actually have about four ideas of what I could do. I could either save money up and pay my car insurance, get a tattoo that I've been craving, buy a bike, 15 or 30-band equalizer, or nothing. Insurance is a necessity as well as having money, but lately, just for the fun of it I want to get back into freestyle BMX,. I was in it for awhile when I was younger, but I wrecked my bike about 4-5 years ago, bent down handlebars never really suited me. I also want to start playing music again, I quit so long ago.

Since this is my birthday weekend, I think, perhaps, I'll be around visiting. Maybe you'll see me.

Call Me Trendy...You Vote

2008-07-29T16:35:00.000-07:00

So, it's the middle of summer. That has nothing to do with what this blog is about, besides staying cool, the not hot kind. I've been known to have long hair for a long time, for at least close to going on for about 6 years I've had a longer than the average hairstyle.

I'm going back to having short hair. I want to see how I like it, plus it's easier to care for and nice not to have something hanging in your eyes. So, I actually have a couple pictures picked out. I'm going to list the pictures 1 through whatever, I'd like you to tell me which one you prefer the most.

1.)

2.)

3.)

4.)

So, go ahead. Choose which one you like best and I'll get my hair cut later this week in that style.
Now VOTE.

The Grass Is Greener...Somewhere

2008-07-26T14:16:00.000-07:00

I've been becoming a little more timid lately. I just seem to be easily pissed off, mostly from myself. If I tried to complain about life, it'd be just infinitely ignorant to do so. I can probably name off more good things than bad, or at least what's bugging me. I know I'm being vague of what's really the problem, but it probably has been mentioned before on this blog somewhere, more than once. I don't feel like beating a dead horse further than I already have.

I can just easily say I've been trying to solve this problem, so I can put ease on myself and be able to bitch and complain about something else. If I had something working for me I'd be in shock and awe.

I'm just feeling lonely.

Respect & Disgust

2008-07-22T19:04:00.000-07:00

There are people I have talked to for ages and some for only months, along with some people I haven't talked to in awhile. All these people have made an impact on my life and I care for every single person I mention. Names won't be mentioned, not because I don't care for other to know who I am talking about, but for the section I dedicate to a certain person for that person to only know I'm talking about them. This is my shot at respecting those who I consider friends, and expressing some disgust to those I don't feel so kindly for anymore.

I don't consider anybody a best friend, but you're perhaps one of the truest friends I've ever had. We've had our petty temper tantrums, but I enjoy being able to talk without worry. It was an awkward way to meet, with you getting knocked out. I hope that your dreams of the world come true for you. Believe me, though I won't stop you, if you move away, it'll be a hard time for me.

I started college with no true direction, no friends except the acquaintances from school, you were the first person I met, as I was for you. I wanted to spend more time with you, but I'm shy, now I regret not being as involved of a person as I could be in your life. It was an eventful two semesters, and I hope, I hope I had a positive impact on your life. I know you're busy anymore, as am I, and that's why we don't hang out that much, but I only hope this next semester goes by quickly and you come back to Akron.

I could care less if you read this. How I feel cannot even be expressed in this blog. I can only hope I'm not like you. I fear the more I try to abolish you the closer I come to being you. I have hardly anything to hold dear to me, good memories are hard to come by since there were so few. Nor do I know what to believe what comes out of your mouth, or with the people around you. I wish that I'm just a stronger person from the burden you caused me.

We haven't known each other too long, but it's been close to year almost. I use to be mean towards you, even though it was just a way to not be shy. I'm hardly shy to you anymore, I try to be as open as I can towards you. You've always been an extremely nice, fun, and witty person. I found you amazingly attractive, still do, and have liked you ever since I've met you. You are with somebody now though, I respect the highly. I hope we can continue to know eachother and have some amazing, and fun times.

I swear I met you through accident of knowing your brother. I've known you close to three years. We haven't talked lately as much as we do, but you're often busy with work. You're leaving for college this fall, that'll be tough to cope with, even if we don't chill all that much. It doesn't matter what it is, we can talk about it. We are constant debators with eachother. Funny you're still only one of the few that call me Jack. Use to have such a "highschool" crush on you, but as far as I know, we are close friends, close friends that seem hard to get and harder to keep.

I consider you my brother, through spirit. Recent things for you have been rough, hopefully everything situates itself out. No matter how things lay themselves out, I will still continue talking to you. You totally are in sync with yourself, who you are, and with other people, that's envious.

I haven't known you too long. So far you seem to be such a fun spirited person and free-willed person in life. Besides your parents ALREADY not liking me, we've got to chill more often, I hardly know you it seems.

I've promised you for two years we would meet...so, yeah, that's a long time. You are such a witty person that's fun to talk to, of course you swear I live a boring life. So, besides you already meeting people I've known from other states, we will meet this summer. Be it at Quizno's or not.

I thought I was finally getting back in touch with a person of my life, but maybe you're not all that different. I don't know what to type of think of your actions of recently.

If I choose to continue this, I'll just copy past it into myspace, or maybe I'll just continue it on here. I didn't mean to limit people to how much I gave them, I just tried to get what I was feeling out.

You were also one of the first people I met at Akron. I kinda regret not getting to know you better sooner. You've come to being a really exciting person that's full of life. I tended to often be weird around you, and flirtatious in weird ways , but now I'm quite open with you. I hope you come back to Akron so you don't live so far away and I can finally get to know you better and become better friends with you.

Holiday Weekends

2008-07-05T23:03:00.000-07:00

So, it's pretty obvious this weekend has been the holiday weekend of July 4th, ya' know, celebrate our nations independence...except nowadays we celebrate it with booze. I kinda enjoy the fireworks myself with no alcohol included. Anyways, I hope everybody had a good holiday so far, hopefully nobody has gotten hurt, at all or not too bad.

This is my holiday weekend so far, starting it off with Friday, the 4th. I've been going to Newton Falls for fireworks for some years now, nowadays it's a lot nicer taken the amount of people I know that either live around there or just plainly go there. I did make a really silly choice deciding to go up there at one in the afternoon when the fireworks started at ten at night, but it was fun throughout the day with the many people there.

At first it was just me and Josh, nobody was really around and it was quiet. We found Matt though and chilled with him for a little bit, until we found George and Lauren and we all (except Matt) just went to go chill for awhile, waiting for the time to pass by a little bit faster. Besides that, I was at the park about the whole day, mostly chilling with either Josh, James, or Michelle. I enjoy being at a place like Newton Falls during this holiday because of all the people you see, know, or are friends with, all being in one place, it's good stuff. It was pretty cool seeing some people I haven't seen in forever such as Syd, but also it was irritating seeing some people that just seem to never mature at all. More less, I would have liked spending more time with everybody I knew while I was up there, but it was a good time nonetheless, and I'm too lazy to type all of it out.

Not much happened today. There were a couple things I would have liked to have been doing and some people I'd like to have been seeing, but I had some family issues, more so a birthday party, come up and I didn't feel like being a dick. That would have been nice.
Though, I did start talking to a good friend of mine again today. So, that was a nice upper.

I'm not sure what else to talk about.
I'm about to go to bed.
Goodnight.

Well, now.

2008-07-01T10:05:00.000-07:00

I just got home from school probably about 30 minutes ago. My class keeps smaller and smaller. It's also getting a bit more intense.
I mean, come on, an Asian kid dropped the math course, I'm fucked right?

There's a little bit concerning that as well, up till thursday I'll be busy for most of the midday and night doing homework and studying. That's just a forewarning for those who talk to me. It's not like I'm going to quit talking throughout the day, it'll just be a lot less than normal. I don't feel like wasting $1,500 of mine. I could go on a whole new rant about money issues and stuff, but I'd probably be a bit relentless and the blog would be really short, or static, lame, and long..

Even though I'm talking about school and everything, I kind of want to ask a favor from anybody who reads this. Does anybody know of a modeling/acting school place around here or in the general vicinity of Akron? I've dwelled on it for a long time and I've been wanting to be actor for close to a year now. Hopefully somebody can help.
Speaking of dwelling, ever have a person stuck in your mind? Yeah, I've had that for awhile now.

Anyways, I'm a bit hungry, as well as I have a side job I need to finish.

Not Very Interesting

2008-06-29T22:45:00.000-07:00

It's about 2 a.m right now.
I should have went to sleep awhile ago. I have class at 9:45 in the morning.
Besides that, I think I'll go over what happened this weekend.

Friday wasn't very interesting. Actually, nothing happened on friday, nothing worth mentioning.

Saturday, for most of the day it was a bland day, just trying to find stuff to do through most of the day. Not until later in the day did I go to Michelle's graduation party, it didn't start until later anyways. It was definitely nice seeing her for probably the first time in a year, she's always been a rather cool friend. It may have not lasted long, but glowsticks, tiki torches, and everybody being chill made it a fun time.
I cam home glowing...literally.

Today...homework and nothing.

This week is the week of July 4th. I like that, I'll get to see a bunch of people I know. I would not mind seeing a few people before the 4th though.

I'm getting tired.
Goodnight.

It's 7 AM....and I'm up.

2008-05-25T03:46:00.000-07:00

Being the time of year it is, I don't know why I'm up. Even more so be it that I'm home alone and don't have to be at work till noon, nonetheless. I just kind of find it interesting that I'm awake at 7 in the morning.
I was kind of wanting a stereotypical, morning, messy hairy, high contrast, morning photo, but I suck at taking a photo and my hair isn't really that messy. I kinda look like I just straightened my hair actually, but parted it real gay. So, that's all good.

I kinda popped in over at Newton Falls yesterday. I wouldn't say it was THAT exciting, but it was just to get out of the house more so. Just getting away from a few things you could say. I've got a couple things on my mind that shouldn't be bothering me. We'll get on that later.
So, I spent probably a good 10 minutes trying to find Josh Bennett and Cameron, only later for them to find me when I happened to stop at Josh's when his grandparents were outside. We stopped at an open house, just to be nice and say hello and stuff, but ironically got treated rude at an after-party afterwards.
Didn't really feel like going to it anyways.

Of course we, plus Matt(BuzzKill) and josh, went over to Cameron's somewhere between there.

So, when I was about to leave, we stopped at the park just to chill, only for two kids, we'll call them McSmokealot and ClevelandLard, to just come back around and trying to start stuff with Josh and Cameron. Ugh, I don't like getting involved in things, but don't be a stereotypical dickwad with an IQ where you're too dumb to realize you said people I know were as good as dead and not know why I get a little antsy.
Of course I was called a pussy for trying to be civil.
That's a compliment. Cause where I come from holmes, I don't beat people's asses if they're talking shit.
That's was slightly interesting.

As far as things bothering me. They're simple, little, and just more of nuisance than anything. Kinda like a fly that just keeps buzzing around your head. I think one thing bothering me the most is this job. I knew any job was going to be rather lame, but the hours here are just...eh.
It's all cool though.

I'm going to go eat some breakfast.

Thursday Pt.1

2008-05-22T12:59:00.000-07:00

So, I'm kinda writing this in a hurry before I leave for work, so it'll probably be short.

Today is thursday, last day of work for this week, I guess that's pretty good. The new Indiana Jones movie is out and I really wanna go see it too, but going to movies alone is lame, so hopefully somebody else wants to see it as well.

I forgot to post up yesterdays blog on myspace, and I'll probably continue this blog later when I get home, I don't feel like being late.

Errr...yeah.

2008-05-21T10:30:00.000-07:00

So, I kinda know it's been a week since I posted last. I don't think many people are going to be that upset that I haven't kept up with posting.

I'll touch on last week, preferably friday with two quotes: "Wanna gang fight?" says the kid with a cast and "I'm not afraid to go back to jail." says the fat/balding/20 year old with a ridiculous log chain at his side.

Right now I'm trying to figure out how to get a rebate from Alltel for the new phone I got from them. Having a scanner right now would be really great, but I guess I can go spend 15 cents. I had a dream last night that our way of money was obsolete, that we were just using stones and such for our currency, it wasn't the stone age or anything, it was a rather advanced civilization.

I got a job finally too. The perk is always the money, but with any job there is a downfall. Two short 10 minute breaks doesn't really cut it for me, pretty gay I would like to say. I wouldn't say that I'm that social, but there are definitely people I use to talk to everyday that I can't talk to that much during the day for a number of reasons, they should know I'm talking about them right now. I'll keep in contact with them, even if it's just for 5 minutes. Haha.

Oh! I do get friday and saturday off though.
That's good.

It is kind of humorous that before this job I was an insomniac, now I just stay up late to get stuff of mine done. My schedule is so fucked up.

Whatever...

2008-05-14T13:20:00.000-07:00

So, today is progressive and I'm kinda motivated, I like it.

I've been in a long slump with my art and music careers for awhile now. My art has now into, I wouldn't say pop art, propaganda art, or anything. Political, maybe. I'm not worried about detail as much I have been in the past, no. I'm more worried about the message I'm conveying to people and the reaction I get from it as well. Isn't that the sole purpose of any art form? To get a reaction and affect people in ways words can't.
This probably also means it'll be a short while before I'm writing again, I hope. I'll probably start all of this tonight, I work better when the sun isn't shining.

Otherwise, I'm pretty bored right now. Some people are away, others signed off, and even some aren't really talking.

I think I'm going to go eat some pizza and ice cream.

Lets Try This Again

2008-05-13T17:44:00.000-07:00

So, I'm going to start blogging again. I took a break from it. Though this blog did become a little pile of poetic attempts. I deleted some just because I can and I don't want certain people to read it, because it's obvious who I'm talking about, in a respectable way of course, but I saved them onto my computer. So, if you ever want to come here to check out some of my poetry, a lot being on my myspace blog as well, go ahead. Be a critic too and say what you like or don't. So, there's the the update of this blog, I'm going to continue on now.

I finally finished my first year of college, I guess you could call it interesting. I don't really believe it's my best or right choice for me, but I'll probably stick with it unfortunately, because my other options aren't looking too well with the way this economy and such is looking. Since I'm out of school now, I'm looking for jobs, I think I may have gotten lucky with that. Of course I'm being vague because I really don't want anybody looking for me when I'm working. Paranoia, nah.

Much of what I wish from this summer break is just a good time. I want to get back into my old hobbies, chill with my friends, and that's about it.
With gasoline at $4/gallon it's only going to restrict me, not stop me.
So, now I'll try to sum up what I want this summer even more.

Friends, Music, Art, Love.
Simple pleasures...
...but they go far and they keep me sane.

2008-05-13T17:31:00.001-07:00

I'll never be given any valor.
For the damage I gave of 100 suns.

2008-05-10T20:09:00.000-07:00

Please stay here, just for a moment.
I've got a world to save.
Just a couple more seconds.
I've got no courage and I'm not brave.
I don't know when I comin',
comin' back to see your face.

Now darlin', it's been years.
A thousand for me,
and like oxygen to me,
but you left long ago in fear.

These trenches ain't got nothin'
These wounds,
They won't be shutting.
War, all the time.
Warfare
In the air.

Now darlin', it's been years.
A thousand for me.
and you're like oxygen to me,
but you left long ago in fear.

2008-04-22T19:01:00.000-07:00

I've just learned to breathe.
But now you've got me begging
I need you like water in my lungs.

Trust me, but don't look at me.
Don't forget me.
It's not the end of the world,
but I'm the one in need of saving.

I'm waiting and falling tonight
Now I have to trust you.
Part of me is uncertain.
...but I'm never going to look back.

You've got me begging
Drowning in it all.
But I breathe in
I breathe in.

2008-04-22T13:10:00.000-07:00

I'd never lie to you.
Not in the light of day.
Not with the sun in the sky.

You thought you could trust me.
But in the shadows I whisper
These sins are like bullets.

What have I done?
I played you like a fool
Angry and screaming
We don't even notice
whats happening around us.

I'd never lie to you.
Not in the light of day.
Or with the stars in the sky.

2008-04-12T06:37:00.000-07:00

Whispering sins like bullets.
They never know when to stop.
We're caught up in the act.
And now the days seem like forever.

2008-04-11T22:38:00.000-07:00

I tell you this is going to tear me apart.
Right in two.

We'll lay around in the night
I swear this feels so right.
We'll make it work tonight.
So lets leave this world behind.

I tell you
This is going to tear me apart...
Right in two
But I don't care.
I don't care.

At least I left you some reading material.

2008-03-19T21:28:00.001-07:00

(Update: Comments on the poems are welcome and much appreciated.)
Many of the poems I write are often out of affection or anger, this one I am about to create is no different.

Lest there be a flower,
one that couldn't be picked.
To give my life, never.
But tell me this my lovesick.
Your hands will have none to clasp,
and your nights will be too long to last
And when you have no sight,
my eyes will be your light.
My legs for yours to walk,
my voice so you can talk.
So why give my life for a flower,
when it's already yours forever.

That was sappy. I think I should try to balance this off with one a bit more harsh. Alright, here I go again before I go on blogging.

I'll be your last breath.
My hands barred across your neck.
The faster you stop.
The sooner I pull out.
Only if I could see your face,
that'll never be covered in lace.
Only if there was a trace.

Oh, a poem about...rape. I told you I could balance it out! I'm not completely a lover. I have some fight in me! Where am I going with this...I dunno.

Okay, today, whew....lets get on with it why don't we.
Only if I could tell you about anything that happened today.

Nothing really did.
Other then I'm giddy as hell right now, I was hoping you use this mood to my advantage today. That got a lil' shot down.

There's always next time.
Hey, but at least I left you two poems.

You've Gotta Wonder

2008-03-18T22:49:00.000-07:00

I'm beginning to debate if break is even good for me. I'm beginning to think about pointless little things way too much now and it just crawls under my skin.

Today, it was near pointless, it could be because I woke up so late...1:30 p.m. I have to start from there to now, it's not that interesting of a day.

I told a couple people today that I'd come and visit before my departure. I was planning on an earlier visit, but I woke up kind of late, washing clothes didn't speed anything up either. So, by the time I'm about to walk out the door my dad tells me he's already fixing supper, what, I didn't see any evidence of that. So I sit around for about another hour and then head over. One of my friends happened to be asleep so I decide to call another to tell them about me being around. Blah, blah, blah. We screw around, nothing special. Then I finally come back here, doing what I do.

I think I'm an angry artist... =/
I tend to throw away things I draw or write. As far as music...eh, I always throw my picks, nothing new there.

I mentioned having people stuck your head being questionable on how pleasant it is in my last blog. The thoughts may always be wonderful but I think I need to learn communication lessons or learn how not to give a fuck. Doesn't seem too hard. What do you think?

Catching Up

2008-03-17T11:06:00.000-07:00

So I haven't posted a real major blog for probably two weeks now. Lamesauce, mmmhmmm. I needed a break, so I took one. So, lets update you the most recent of events.

My first day of spring break, which I'm still on throughout this week, started off bleak. My dad was having a men only party, but surprisingly they all cook good. Of course there was no cheesecake, I didn't expect them to bake though. That was that, but I had plans to go to a show in NF, I think I went about 30 minutes early, what else was I going to do. Anywho, I had lotz of fun, but I got tired quick and stopped being as active, I didn't really do too much afterwards except listen to 7 hours of music for $8, not a bad deal I thought. I didn't get home to almost 2 a.m., wouldn't have minded staying at Josh's or whomever's house for the night, driving was terrible being so tired.

Sunday, yesterday, not too much went on. I still have homework I have to send in this week, so that's a bummer. I did most of it yesterday.

Today, I don't expect much to be going on. I do feel like planning a little visit once again to my friends in NF before I head down to Tennessee for three days. Whoever may be free, today is fine, tomorrow even better. So I'll probably try to plan that today in an attempt to see their beautiful faces. =P

I'm going to try to get back into my art and music career/hobbies this week. It's much more pleasing than staring at this screen for the whole day. No offense to anybody.

Sometimes I wonder how pleasant it is having somebody stuck in your head. =/

You're Lucky

2008-03-15T23:04:00.000-07:00

One, if you're reading this....

Never mind. I lied. This day isn't being published.

I might love the dark...

2008-03-05T11:22:00.001-08:00

Though it's not really the best mixture to have when you have no electricity either. Which is exactly where I stand right now, at school, typing this, having my electronics charge up so, yep, you got it, I can communicate with you.

So lets update everybody on yesterday since only a few of my friends have heard from me last night. So yesterday was another long day for school, tuesdays and thursdays always are. It wasn't too bad though. Since I mention a good portion of my day in my last blog I'll go from the ride on home to now.

So the weather forecast was rain/freezing rain/snow for last night. Thank goodness I didn't have to drive yesterday, not to say I wasn't scared shitless still. So on the drive home we probably lost control about three times on top of monsoon type rain falling all around us, haha, it was kinda like soft ice. So we finally get to my road, by my house, and I think I see something on fire so I kinda keep my eye on it since it's right across the road. Only if I knew minutes later it was exploding with blue flames shooting from it. After about another minute...boom, the transformer on the electric lines blew up and my house goes in complete darkness. Fuckin' great.

I end up calling a few people, telling them about my situation and give me something to do. I finally run out of people to talk to, so I just tend to the fire, lay around, and listen to music on my laptop though. Three hours later though, it's battery finally goes dead. I end up falling asleep and waking up throughout the night. IT WAS COLD!

More less though for right now I'm just waiting for my stuff to charge up and I'm going to head home. Not much has happened. It's kind of why I'm typing this, I have nothing better to do than people watch, listen to music, and study. I'd rather procrasinate for a couple more hours. =]

So, I'm not sure whether I'll be online tonight. If you want to talk though call this number

330-428-4244

Hopefully I'll have electric tonight.
Byeee

The School Site....is being, let me think of a big word...maladroit

2008-03-04T05:59:00.000-08:00

Maladroit = Awkward
Okay, I actually went to a thesaurus for that.

More less the site is being an ass and not letting me on. Okay, I don't personally care, but hey, maybe I wanted I wanted to learn today! Heh. My teacher has this lisp, it's quite funny, it makes up for her, ehhh-ish teaching.

So, I voted for the first time today. I think I had more joy out of the touch screen than voting for Obama. I was all paranoid, going back and forth making sure it was checked since it's all electronic. I'm pretty much pumped I finally get my voice out there, my vote counted, in this life-changing and history making election. It felt great, it'll feel even better I had an impact in the very possible nomination of Barack Obama. Kinda makes me a little giddy.

Anybody living in Ohio voting is 6:30 a.m to 7:30 p.m. today. Please, go out and vote today. Vote Obama.

So far that has been my day for today, it's still early, so of course it was going to be short, so I'll mention a little bit of yesterday.

Yesterday:
So for the first time this semester I thought I knew my math...then I was shot down probably about 30 minutes later. YES! Lets continue the trend! It's not that it's hard, but time consuming and my patience has grown thin with it.
So anyways I go home, same ol' stuff. Kara calls, inviting to come hang out with her, Carly, Nolan, and Josh (which ends up being there). Unfortunately I was swamped with homework and wasn't able to go, sooooo, eh...ghey.

So, my night ends up being mellow, little friendly political debates come up every now and again. Nothing hairy though. I end up going to sleep early last night. Midnight is early for me. It seems about every time I go to bed early I tend to dream. I like dreams.

Why Shaving Is....uhhhhh

2008-03-03T15:39:00.000-08:00

This could just be my more metro, fashionable side talking, but hey...whatever. People that shave, whatever you may shave, your face, legs, arms...yeah, you get the point! Continue shaving, or getting waxed, whatever you prefer. It just feels so much better and perhaps even sometimes better to look at.

There is no way I'm going to compare shaved skin to a babies butt, that's just awkward. I think of it more like velvet or silk.
Yeah, silk.

Of course part of this is coming because I kinda let my laziness get a hold of me and I got a bit scruffy. No, better yet, sand papery.

I'm usually a clean-shaven person, or at least a day of scruff, but that's usually it, not an itchy, tingling scruff.
So, the males and females alike, don't be lazy next time you go to the bathroom. Get the razor and cream/gel out and get rid of those hair follicles!

Essentially...

2008-03-02T19:53:00.000-08:00

I'm never good at summing things up unless they're already short, in which I can focus on the center-point. Which this weekend, three days of course, consisted on one that deserves most of the limelight. So, starting with friday!

Friday:

I'm not even going to go on about school, nothing interesting happened and I bitch about it too much already. So, moving onto the rest of my day after education.

I get out of school at 2:00, my dentist appointment is at 3:30 and I still need to brush my teeth and get a quick bite to eat. It's nearly 3 by the time I get home and almost 3:10 before I even leave. I get to my dentist with only minutes to spare. Friggin long mile gap.

So, I had to get a couple fillings, and don't dare assume I have bad hygiene, I brush, floss, and brush my tounge twice a day. Four shots of Novocaine later, jesus christ , my whole left side of my face was numb, tounge included. I couldn't talk worth a shit. Then I get out and head over to Josh's.

We hang out, go to Pamida, get stalked, go to DQ in mid-freezing temperatures and head over to Kara's.

All three of us just chilled. I mean, I dunno, haha, there were fun moments, they're noteworthy, but I'm getting tired of typing. Well...there was a knife fight.

Saturday + Sunday:

Chilled around the neighborhood. Talked it up with with a few family members.

My night is just, eh, mellow right now.

Facecicles, snotcicles, icicles.

2008-02-28T11:20:00.000-08:00

Only if my face looked as nice as icicles instead of feeling like them.

Itsjoshbennett (2:27:43 PM): o_O

Okay, so maybe I could have chosen a better introduction.

No matter if you're a girl or guy you should check out my friend Josh's (The Innovation Of Silence) public service announcement blog. The link is to the right for those that are blind. It'll make you chuckle.
So I sit here, in a friend's room, waiting for my next class to begin at 6:40-9:30. On top of that, I'm finishing a paper and studying for math I just now have some hints to do so it can be done correctly.

Yeah, I can't slack right.
I'll talk later.

Aches, Insomnia....and hopefully only dehydration.

2008-02-27T16:41:00.000-08:00

Seriously, I'm all sore from something. Yesterday? The snow?
It's all I've got to blame.
Getting pwn3d by people your own size is one thing...but of course that never happens.
Ouchiez. I took an Advil not to long ago.
I'm feeling pretty good right now. No more aches, for now at least.

Last night I couldn't sleep at all. It may have been the utter rush from earlier or maybe not waking up until 1, either or. I didn't sleep at all is what matters and now it's killing me. Writing a speech didn't help either with getting any sleep. Trying to catch up in calculus tonight, studying for a midterm, and finishing a paper isn't going to help tonight either. I DID GET A 2 HOUR NAP IN THOUGH!

I was also feeling really terrible all around, no mentally, but physically drained. I was blaming it on the insomnia, but these long hours of school I have been known to forget to drink and I've gotten dehydrated before. So, right now I'm drinking a soda for the caffeine buzz and then going to drink some water throughout the night. Maybe that's just it...just dehydration.
Anyways, I'm off to go listen to some music, attempt to finish/figure out school, talk to whomever...yeah.

I may be changing my blog name.

-Fred

P.S.- I've got a few things I want to share, if you're lucky I'll post them on here.

Snow, snow, snow everywhere...even in your pants.

2008-02-26T22:30:00.000-08:00

I realize since it's 1:31 a.m here it's a bit awkward to talk about my day, slightly, but not too much. Taken it's now officially done. I also realize I didn't post for a day, two, or three, I'm not sure, I haven't checked. I just know it's been a matter of days and not hours. o_O

So, anyways, monday night I was friggin worried I was going to have to drive to school in slush, ice, snow, you know...the ingredients for disaster. So I get a call this morning from my friend Preston telling me that U.A canceled. Lets just say I celebrated with an intimate conversation with my pillow...until 1 in the afternoon at least.

I was woke up with my dad asking if I was going to sleep any longer, realizing what time it was...yeah, I got up in a hurry. So I got my daily dose of vitamin C with a glass of orange juice and took a glance outside. Snow, snow, snow....everywhere. Gotta admit, it was pretty, instead of seeing semis going up and down the road making everything brown and disgusting and inedible. Yes...I like to eat snow every now and then, eff you. =]

Anywho, I think it was around 5 when Josh asked me if I wanted to play in the snow with him and Kara. Because obviously it's a rule that I have to be there, I have no choice, nor do I mind. I'm about to go before I end up getting a guilt trip from my dad, but I decided to ignore it and just go. Then he keeps bitching why I shouldn't be going, roads, late, cold....blah, blah, blah. I'm about to say "Fuck it" and I did for about 10 minutes until I'm like "Screw this, I'm crazy and bored enough to go". Yeahhh, I got a couple glares from him, oh well. It's not like I couldn't go in the first place, I just hate to hear people bitch.

Initial Plan: Build Snowman
Pass:
Fail: Check

So me, Josh, Kara, and her brother end up just playing in the snow for almost 2 hours. Even though we were standing in the cold for no real reason for awhile too......
Okay, okay, besides mentioning the pictures taken there's no real way to go with explaining the snow other then it was fun, cold, exciting, and it should be done again.
The End

So, tomorrow I have to give a speech. I have been changing it a lot lately, hope the teacher doesn't mind, I really don't want to do it on anything dealing with the environment. So I'm about to go search on The Mars Volta's website for their bio to give me some information to share with the class. With that, I leave you with a video of TMV.

I must have some lost marbles...

2008-02-24T21:03:00.000-08:00

At least according to my family I have I few lost marbles. They don't find it a well thought out thing to front my teacher of a problem I think is evident. I mean...I was going to keep it anonymous at least. Eh, so what? We never got anything done just sitting around listening to people in the first place thinking they're always right. Heh, if we did we'd still be ' A Nation Under King ______'.

To far?
Nah, not at all.
Now for a little rant, yeah, yeah...their screen name is x'ed out.

Me I have a voice, many people listen to me, it's something I never thought could happen, but I guess I have a persuasive voice

xxxx: I could say the same for myself, but... I want people to learn on their own, or learn visually.

Lollipop Gourmet (12:12:02 PM): I would like that to happen as well...but, heh, our generation is spoon-fed

Lollipop Gourmet (12:12:10 PM): I'm not excluding myself out of that

xxxx: Of course, I don't think I could adequately explain what OBEY means to someone who can't open their mind thouh.

Lollipop Gourmet: Heh. I argue to attempt to open peoples minds

Lollipop Gourmet (12:13:53 PM): Odd, I made a girl stop being anorexic/bulemia

Lollipop Gourmet (12:13:59 PM): belemic*

Lollipop Gourmet (12:14:05 PM): w/e

xxxx (12:14:21 PM): why the fuck are you taking Chem engineering? take some Psychology

Lollipop Gourmet (12:14:50 PM): I hate psychology

Lollipop Gourmet (12:15:19 PM): I don't want to make money helping somebody out

Lollipop Gourmet (12:16:20 PM): I love to help people, improve, affect, send a message to people....for free

xxxx: To be fair- money would be a nice additive.

Lollipop Gourmet (12:16:58 PM): Not to say it wouldn't be. I don't want it though

xxxx: I dig bud.

Lollipop Gourmet (12:17:35 PM): My lack of greed baffles my family

Lollipop Gourmet (12:17:48 PM): They think I'm joking

xxxx: Same with mine, really. I'm quite humble compared to my family.

Lollipop Gourmet (12:18:37 PM): The family is like "You'll love the money when you get a job"

Me- Yeah, it'll be nice, but why do I need money to help improve society?

xxxx(12:19:00 PM): haha

Lollipop Gourmet (12:19:29 PM): Fear, Greed, Lust, Envy, Sloth

Lollipop Gourmet (12:19:38 PM): Blah

xxxx: Ayeeeee

Lollipop Gourmet (12:20:23 PM): I lust.

xxxx: who doesn't.

Lollipop Gourmet (12:20:40 PM): Fear is instilled in us by "higher" people

Lollipop Gourmet (12:21:05 PM): Greed is made common because of others around us and those higher

Lollipop Gourmet (12:21:14 PM): Envy is caused by media

xxxx: FRED

I also never knew I had so many silver dollars until yesterday when my grandparents...after watching a chinese 80's retro movie with them, gave them to me. Soooo heavy.

I have this sudden fascination with graffiti art
I also say I'm open on this blog. Hmmm, almost, not really though.

I kinda fear a simple word can throw a whole message off.

Bad Teachers, Creeperz, and Haircuts

2008-02-23T13:44:00.000-08:00

I probably would have wrote last night, but after falling asleep and barely missing two IM's that were sent to me a minute before I woke up, I decided to go to sleep last night.

So, my day (yesterday), as almost any day of the week was just another bland, original, nothing new day. I went to school, did what was asked, turned in papers, and took quizzes. I'm not going to go too much in depth about a day at school that is usually the same as any other day. Though there is one part of the day at school that did stick out terribly. It's been a common practice of my math/calculus teacher to try to teach the class another subject during a quiz day. After this practice of hers has now failed me out of 3 quizzes, I voiced my opinion about it after I didn't have a respectful amount of time to finish the quiz. By the way, we're not allowed to use calculators in her class either. Which this quiz dealt with simple, but time consuming calculations she demanded be done by hand. With much of the class struggling to finish this quiz with the 20 or less minutes given I said exactly this, or maybe something close:

"It'd be great if you actually finished teaching a lesson before the day of the quiz so the class would have enough time to finish.

Teacher - "Heh, yeah.....right."

"It seems really damn logical to me."

I was probably fuming, okay not fuming, but irked about this for at least 30 minutes. I'm going to end up writing a letter to her, printed out, and put underneath her office door for her to read. What it means to her I can care less, but I have the right to voice my opinion.
Not to mention, my thinking was off for a good part of the day since we had to share our english papers with other students and the two people I shared with, excluding myself went in this order, by topic of course;

1.) Why Barbie Is A GOOD Role Model
2.) Female Genital Mutilation

Wtf, that's all I've got to say about that.

Now...onto my more social part of life.

I was a little bit late, but I end up calling Josh telling him I just got home and I was going to take a shower before I went over. Well, I get over there, give him the Obama Hope poster (designed by Shepherd Fairey) and we get ready to leave. Kara calls, so we head over to her house, and we sit around trying to figure out what to do. Her and her brother end up fighting and it kinda ruins the happy-go-lucky mood that was there. So we finally end up going to the mall, which I knew the general direction to get there...just, not all of the turns. We end up driving around to other places, messing with a van full of people (beeping, 4-way flashes) ya' knowwww, being obnoxious.
I also swore I lost both of them in a store before finding them by some washers...

After having no clue on what to do we went to Perkins' to get a bite to eat, which is where I notice I eat slow. Me and Josh end up trying to make music before we start getting glares...yeah. I also find out sugar water is not that bad at all, thanks Kara. Wal-Mart though, heh, Wal-Mart...attracts very odd people. So we're just minding our own business, while Josh is wearing a pink helmet, and this odd guy starts criticizing Josh, so with this quote "Pink is a manly color" I swear it started a conversation none of us really wanted. So, this goes on for about 30 or so minutes and he's totally hitting on Kara the whole time. We finally leave the guy and end up leaving...and leaving Josh outside. He doesn't talk the whole way home, which makes us think he's pissed, but as I read in his blog he wasn't...ass.

Anyways, yet again, I really liked this weekend and the people in it. <3

...oh, yeah, I got my hair cut today. This is excluding the crazy humor of salon. =x

A Change Of Mood Swings

2008-02-21T21:38:00.000-08:00

I've been looking at this blog lately, it seems to be a rather personal blog of mine. I mention a bit of personal issues here, hopefully it's not too boring.

I have an urge to turn something around, there's so many things I want to do, some for personal gain and others just simply out of the kindness of my heart. No matter for what I envision, I seem puzzled about it. It's been better than it use to be though, I mowed the hedge maze in my head down awhile ago. Even though I say I mention a bit of information in here, I'm not always going to come out and say things all of the time. Mentioning everything to you takes the interest out of the story of life, I'll guide you in the right direction, but I'm not going to sponge feed any/much information.
Hmmmm, there's not many times, even in the dead of winter and heat of school that I want to make a dedication of something to somebody. Dedications to a dead hero are enjoyable to see, but to offer some decoration for the live heroes and people of whatever part of life seems just as right.

THIS BLOG JUST GOT DETOURED. I FELL ASLEEP WRITING. To Be Continued.

Suprise!!!

2008-02-20T15:12:00.000-08:00

I love you. <3
Yes, I mean it. Less than 3's included.
1.) I'm very hyper right now...

Okay, now, that's not directed towards anybody in general, so don't go playing a guessing game that it's just for you. You're included, but it's a mass love. Oh yes, a mass love.

Hahaha.
Mmmm. Am I bipolar? Crazyyyy.

Today is a long day, not that it was meant to be, my classes end at 2, but I have a study session to attend. I guess I'm not to confident. =X OH YES, I LACK CONFIDENCE! Such a turn off. MY SARCASM IS MY WEAKNESS!

Well, today Kal Penn, better known as Kumar from the movie "Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle" came to Akron to discuss why he feels people should vote in this election and why exactly he supports Obama. He also answered questions that people may have had. It was great, I mean sure, he was probably one of the most famous celebrities I have met so far, but his knowledge of the campaign was really great too.

I'm not sure how many posters I'll be able to get. We're now running low. We were giving these posters away at the rally. I was able to get two, but so far one is for myself and another for a friend of mine.

Okay, okay, I was expecting this to be a bit longer, buttttt since I have to leave soon and there are distractions I'll just call it quits or write later.

Two Blog Day Pt.2

2008-02-19T17:36:00.000-08:00

::sigh::
This blog is going to be mix of topics.

Good moods only last so long, don't they? I should have figured.

It could just be the jumble of confusion I'm getting from doing homework and studying. Stress can't be healthy for you, not at all. That's all college has done to me this year, probably shaved off a year of my life from stress. I will never tell people not to go to college or some specialty school, but be sure of what you want to do, and just because you enjoy something doesn't mean you'll be happy doing it for an occupation. I've been questioning myself on switching my major, yeah, feels like a waste of $10,000. Yet others say it's just because it's your freshman year and things will get easier and you won't regret it. That's why I'm so hesitant. My major is considered the hardest in college courses, oops, I didn't expect that, I knew it'd be difficult, but the most difficult? I tend not to run away from a challenge and I haven't yet, but...
Hell, one of the only things I depend on for not going insane are weekends!

My hobbies, no...my life of the past 4 years, music and art have suffered from this constant stress machine. I tend to try to explain to others, but not many understand. Gawd, it feels like a waste of potential. Except...I'll never go to school for music or art, it shouldn't be restricted and it never will be for me. Anybody want me to make them a song? ^_-

Damn, haha, I could go on forever just from everything be affected by something else. So many things are relative to to each other. Just like that little sentence is about to bring up the next topic, yes, the last sentence of the music mumbo-jumbo.

I've felt a bit hollow for a long while now. Could it just be from school, it's takeover of my life, my loss of hobbies, my relationship status, aliens maybe? It could just be a nice soup of everything and it seems like the most logical idea at the moment. To blame everything on one thing would be stupid and illogical.

It was a comment somebody said about high school got me thinking "Wow, it's been a year since I've graduated."
You always try to keep everybody you've known throughout high school, in your school or another town, close to you, you promise you're going to always be a friend always going to be there. Well, heh, we always play favorites or sometimes it's just because of our schedules that can screw us up. I mean, just recently in another blog of mine I mentioned how I recently got in touch with an friend I've known for quite awhile. I'll probably keep talking to them for quite awhile now, at least I'll try my best too. Partially because, wow, for some of the people I try to keep in touch with it's almost no use, others get consumed in their life, and then you have a few that you can keep. It's still always going to be a little game, not as big before, of favorites, but I'm still trying to figure out who I enjoy being around and talking to, I think I'm getting closer to knowing.

::scratches head::
I think I covered most of what was going on in my head. This thing is almost near therapeutic, at least it calms me somewhat.

-Fred

I lied...this blog doesn't count.

2008-02-19T14:31:00.000-08:00

Lollipop Gourmet (4:19:47 PM): ...do you like a brand new couch or one that's been worn n

Lollipop Gourmet (4:19:48 PM): in

Itsjoshbennett (4:20:56 PM): worn in

Lollipop Gourmet (4:21:32 PM): The queston now is...HOW worn in

Lollipop Gourmet (4:21:45 PM): Not the one that you sink into an abyss hopefully

Itsjoshbennett (4:21:50 PM): not 30 year worn in, two year worn in.

Lollipop Gourmet (4:21:57 PM): Yeahhh

Lollipop Gourmet (4:22:01 PM): Mmmmm

Lollipop Gourmet (4:22:12 PM): Only of my couches are like that. =[

Lollipop Gourmet (4:22:15 PM): one*

Itsjoshbennett (4:22:26 PM): lameburgers

Lollipop Gourmet (4:22:38 PM): ....but gawd is it greattt

Itsjoshbennett (4:22:52 PM): HAHA

Lollipop Gourmet (4:24:44 PM): HAHAHA....the flu shot only protects you from about 40% of all flu viruses this year

Itsjoshbennett (4:24:55 PM): Eh, fuck them.

Lollipop Gourmet (4:25:12 PM): I never get 'em

Itsjoshbennett (4:25:21 PM): Me = love disease.

Lollipop Gourmet (4:25:48 PM): The only shots I have gotten recently were for meningitis and hepatitis

Lollipop Gourmet (4:26:06 PM): Simply because I was going to college

Lollipop Gourmet (4:26:09 PM): 30,000 people.

Lollipop Gourmet (4:26:14 PM): Otherwise, fuck med

Lollipop Gourmet (4:26:14 PM): s

Itsjoshbennett (4:27:33 PM): Haha!

Lollipop Gourmet (4:28:02 PM): Meds destroy your immune system more than a virus will if you can battle it off

Lollipop Gourmet (4:28:12 PM): Will hurt your imm**

Itsjoshbennett (4:28:30 PM): lameeee

Lollipop Gourmet (4:28:36 PM): Our obsession of being so clean hurts us worse

Lollipop Gourmet (4:29:01 PM): Because we protect ourselves from so many colds and such that when we get one it's so much worse

Itsjoshbennett (4:30:09 PM): you should really takes these moments and use them to write blogs.

Lollipop Gourmet (4:30:47 PM): ...because over the past 3 they've been lame?

Itsjoshbennett (4:31:07 PM): or, becuase you get on a rant.

What better do I have to do after a shitty week of useless higher education?

Itsjoshbennett (5:24:39 PM): Cheers!

Lollipop Gourmet (5:25:14 PM): I find it interesting to home in on techniques and sharpen them along with learning new ways to do things...

Lollipop Gourmet (5:25:23 PM): I find it unruly to charge so much

Lollipop Gourmet (5:26:11 PM): It baffles me that in different enviroments you can learn the same trade, or what say you, but, without a piece of paper you're useless

Itsjoshbennett (5:26:32 PM): According to some people, yes.

Lollipop Gourmet (5:26:41 PM): I could be a genius dropout from high school.

Lollipop Gourmet (5:26:47 PM): What does that matter to the next person

Lollipop Gourmet (5:26:50 PM): ...not a thing

Lollipop Gourmet (5:26:55 PM): Sad

Lollipop Gourmet (5:27:07 PM): The arts, do people care about them anymore

Lollipop Gourmet (5:27:08 PM): Nah.

Lollipop Gourmet (5:27:14 PM): ....but everybody loves the radio

Itsjoshbennett (5:27:21 PM): HAHA

Lollipop Gourmet (5:27:34 PM): We love watching movies

Lollipop Gourmet (5:27:50 PM): We enjoy reading books and marveling at the talent of a painter

Lollipop Gourmet (5:28:04 PM): ...but, do we care about it when it doesn't affect us

Lollipop Gourmet (5:28:07 PM): Never

Lollipop Gourmet (5:28:10 PM): Gawd

Lollipop Gourmet (5:28:16 PM): ....I'm ranting

Lollipop Gourmet (5:28:18 PM): ...

Itsjoshbennett (5:28:21 PM): a bit

Lollipop Gourmet (5:28:28 PM): I'm just going to copy paste this in a blog

Itsjoshbennett (5:28:39 PM): haha, go for it.

Two Blog Day Pt. 1

2008-02-19T09:57:00.000-08:00

Damn.

I woke up at 12. I'm hardly complaining though, it would have been nicer to wake up a bit earlier so I don't have to stay up all night studying. C'est la vie. -_-

Besides yesterday I've been kinda giddy, I like the happy-go-lucky feeling, so lets hope this lasts awhile. Today I have to study for math, chemistry...okay, and that's pretty much it thankfully! I don't like being behind in my classes, not to add some don't even assist you in your problems other than noting what you did wrong. I mean, sureee, that nice....except I probably did it wrong cause I didn't understand it. Haha, oh well, I'll live through it.

Need to try to make plans for the weekend. Hmmm.
Okay, no more wasted time! I'm off to study...on my day off!

Tuesday is such a weird day to get off.

2008-02-18T19:17:00.000-08:00

So, yeah...tuesday is my president's day break, so awkward. Moving on now though.

Waking up late yesterday didn't work out well for me, I ended up not being able to sleep and I'm really tired right now. Other then basically just letting the day unwind I haven't done much other then what the teacher has asked for. I'll try to get things done tomorrow. Time, patience, and sleep. Oddly, I hardly have people piss me off at all, but wow, does it take some balls to insult somebody else and me at the same time, too bad he's being an ass. Karma is a bitch.

Okay, I was hoping I'd be able to get more out of this writing but it's putting me to sleep.

Goodnight.
-Fred

Ehh..

2008-02-17T16:17:00.000-08:00

I probably won't post later tonight, so this will be a short post.

I can't say I've done too much today, I didn't wake up until one in the afternoon. Nonetheless, I woke up and got a glass of orange juice.

I mean, eesh, the only thing I've ate today is pizza.

Oh, yeah, I've talked to a few people too. Can't forget them.

I don't get tomorrow off of school, but I get tuesday off. They tell us there are too many monday holidays. Meh, oh well. I suppose I can deal with it.

I'm going to go do something productive, like take a shower, paint a picture, music, maybe even homework!

I've gotta do this more often...

2008-02-16T23:26:00.000-08:00

The weekend, I could have swore it would have been just another average boring collection of days when I put off homework for no apparent reason.

I'm cool like that.

So, I happen to be on myspace and I go to see who's online. Well, happens to be Kara is online, remind you I hadn't seen her for close to a year before this. So I leave her a comment, trying to get back in touch, nonetheless, throughout more, I ended up getting persuaded to go to a show. Oh, believe me, it wasn't hard for two reasons. One was I was bored, the other because, well, I like my friends. So, I end up calling Josh...

I really didn't like the idea of going alone, so I end up calling Josh seeing if he wants to come along. He's broke, but I offer to pay for him , he agrees.
Reminder: I don't know where the hell I'm going.
I mean, damn, I swear I was going to die tonight. Twice for me did I have deer run out in front of me. Another was some asshole that didn't stop for a light. So we end up getting on route 5, I think we're lost, so I pull off on the only exit I know, the outskirts of Warren...soooo shady. We stop by at this drive thru, no door, damn, so the Indian fellow inside tells us to come to the window. As Josh put it, "...with his thick, angry accent" he helped us. We finally got back to the car and got the hell out of there.

So, we finally get to the show and hang out with Kara, Carly, and Noltan (Gawd, I need to learn techno moves.) Anywho, I've got to admit, I liked the last band probably the best...A for their sarcasm.

Show ends...yeah, I know, too bad eh?
So, I follow Noltan back so I don't get lost, even though I fuck with him the whole way back. Of course, just tagging the blame onto Josh cause it's so much easier, I'm going to blame us getting cold by going to the park completely on him. Capisce? Josh, shush, <3? Good, we better be fine. Don't ask, it's awkward.

Hopefully plans can be made for next week. This was a fun night thanks to them. <3

Peace Out
-Fred

You Call That A Poll?! Gimme a break.

2008-02-15T20:57:00.000-08:00

As a news flash too, recent polls show Clinton in the lead in Ohio and Penn. The funny thing is, in the paper it also published how many people were polled. Only 500+ from each state had been polled. How do you consider that a good survey, I sure don't. On top of that it was held Feb. 6 - 12, this was before Obama's sweeps. Stop producing inaccurate information, I don't like being fed lies. I mean, don't get me wrong, I know there are a lot of blue collar jobs here, and much respect to them, but at the same time in an article I read it treated Ohioans as uneducated. I mean, don't get me wrong, Ohio has around 130 higher education facilities, many which are nationally noticed, on top of having the largest college in the U.S.A. Next time, don't even vaguely call this state uneducated.

26...erm, 27 reasons against Hillary

2008-02-15T17:00:00.000-08:00

"Three months ago, I would have been more than happy to vote for Hillary Clinton in the general election. Yes I preferred Al Gore at the time but since Gore wasn't running, I felt Edwards was the next best choice. Over time Obama made the better arguments and appeared to be more viable so I switched over. My faith in Obama has been rewarded as he has turned out to be far more substantive, genuine, and inspiring that I initially imagined.

Had Hillary Clinton inspired or had Hillary Clinton run the campaign I thought she was capable of, she could have won me over too and earned my vote on February 5th. She wasn't my first or second choice but I could have been persuaded. Instead, I've been jaded and dissuaded.

Saying goodbye to the Clintons is not an easy thing. Bill Clinton was the first President I was ever eligible to vote for and I voted for him twice, the first time because he campaigned as a populist and the 2nd time because he was not Bob Dole.

In 2000 I was one of the people who thought it was a great idea for Hillary Clinton, despite having never lived in NY and having no experience as an elected official, to be my Senator. Yep, I chose her over several more experienced people who were thinking of running at the time because I realize that experience is lifelong and not tied to how many years you've held a public position. Perhaps I'm also a misoygnist for supporting Hillary Clinton over Mark Green, Carl McCall, or Peter Villone.

I also voted for Hillary in 2006, including in the Democratic primary when 17% of the voters chose Jonathan Tasini. I felt she was the better candidate and deserved to be given the benefit of the doubt on a vote here and there that I disagreed with. Perhaps I'm a misoygnist for supporting HRC over JT.

But this has all changed.

This change did not happen overnight. This change is a result of straw after straw after straw. With the Clintons, it wasn't 3 straws and you're out. I tried to give them every benefit of the doubt, every excuse, every justification. However, now I'm done.

So why am I divorcing them? In some order it was

"I" "I" "I" in virtually every Hillary speech ad nauseum.

Mark Penn. (The incompetent jackass who couldn't get 50% against Bob Dole and took the surest thing {Tony Blair's 3rd term} and turned it into a close race.

Terri McCauliffe and the establishment machine.

"turn up the heat."

Smearing Obama with a kindergarten essay

The Rezko hypocrisy.

The drug use smears.

The attempt to freeze out Iowa students.

The anti-choice smear of Obama in New Hampshire.

The cooked books and $5 million dollar loan.

Playing the race card in South Carolina and elsewhere.

Bill Clinton's fairy tale remark.

Attempts to prevent service workers from caucusing in Nevada.

The cactus tears in NH. (She attacked Obama dried eyed next sentence.)

The mischaracterications of present votes in the Illinois state legislature.

Her failure to apologize for her politically calculating vote on Iraq.

Her equally politically calculating vote on Kyl-Lieberman.

The vicious attempts to play the misogyny card when 99% of Obama voters don't have a sexist bone in their bodies.

HRC's Michigan shenanigans.

HRC's Florida shenanigans.

Bill Clinton's caucus v. primary comments.

The cheesy Wisconsin attack ad while she's in Texas.

Lanny Davis (yep the Lieberman jackass) echoing the Clintons elitist attitude about upper middle class voters "not counting."

Hillary Clinton saying that Patti Solis' decision to step down was Patti's decision when Hillary knows Patti was fired.

Mark Penn's significant states comment telling people in 22 states to go F off.

Hillary attacking Obama this week saying she gives solutions while he gives speeches. (During a speech of course.)

That's 26 straws and there were many others. I can't put a quantitative value on each straw but they added up. And now HRC is unwilling to pledge that she will abide by the will of the voters and accept pledged delegates as the nominee. This is the final straw. In short, she's trying to pull a Scalia and is plotting and scheming to steal an election. Although I believe her attempt will be futile because she will lose every state from here on out (including Ohio and Texas) and although I believe her efforts will be futile because the superdelegates collectively will support the winner among the voters, I am still through with the Clintons. There is no way in hell I'm voting for her ever again.

So how does one move from persuadable to willing to comfortable to accepting to begrudgingly acquiescing to no way in just 3 months? The fault for that lies exclusively with Hillary Rodham Clinton.

Does Hillary Clinton agree with me on most issues? The answer is yes. This is not about ideology. But there are people in politics on BOTH sides of the political aisle who simply take whatever positions they feel they need to take in order to attain and retain power. If a person is corrupt and agrees with me on the issues, that person needs to go and be replaced by someone who is not corrupt and agrees with me on the issues.

There are politicians who are hollow, opportunistic, and selfish. There are politicians who rely on the likes of Karl Rove, Mark Penn, and Lanny Davis, all professional liars and scumbags who spin, manipulate, and deceive. There are people in politics who are calculating and kniving and legislate from this devious mindset. John McCain is such a politician. Hillary Clinton is such a politician. I have no use for either.

What these "straws" have shown me is that Hillary Rodham Clinton is in politics for the power and not for the people or her country. Hillary Clinton has shown me that she is a person of very low character and a person who has very little integrity. Hillary Clinton is a person who has shown me that she will do anything to win even if winning is done unethically or immorally. Hillary Cliton has shown me that she will choose expediency over ethics and is aghast that voters are pummelling her for it at the ballot box as if we "insignificant" little people have no right to question her perceived authority. Well I'm tired of the Clintons trying to micromanage and pigeonhole voters with ridiculous labels like wine v. beer, upper income v. blue collar, Latino v. black, male v. female. What Hillary Clinton does not get is that people are people, not statistics on a spreadsheet handed to you by Mark Penn. I drink beer, I drink wine. I connect with people of all economic classes. I love people regardless of their race and gender. So take these poll driven artificial divisions of yours Hillary Clinton and shove them up your you know what.

The irony of all this hoopla is that if Hillary Clinton had simply done the right things from the beginning and not been blinded by her own hubris and arrogance, she would have been the next President of the United States. A WABC poll from 2006 said 68% of Americans thought she was a strong leader and her positives to negatives were +12. Today she's considered a Shakesperean tragedy at best, a joke at worst. And it's pathetic.

Had Mrs. Clinton simply complimented Obama from the beginning as a good guy, ran an honest campaign, fired her aforementioned jackass campaign strategist back in November, and simply talked about the issues in inclusive turns, she'd be way ahead in pledged delegates right now and a double digit leader in the polls over John McCain. Had she done the right thing and said prior to Super Tuesday that she will respect the voters and pledge to support Obama if Obama was ahead in pledged delegates, she might be the one ahead in pledged delegates right now. Instead she ran a campaign seeking to divide people based on microtrends fed to her by a pollster. But the flaw of microtrends is that people can't be pigeonholed that easily so when you try to pit A against B, you eventually end up pitting A against A.

In life I believe in doing the right thing. I also believe that doing the right thing is good politics in the end even if a current poll says otherwise. Hillary Clinton's flawed morality is that she believes in that which she feels can advance her own cause at a given time. It's the same immoral code that George W Bush, John McCain, Dick Cheney, Ann Coulter, Joe Lieberman, and Rush Limbaugh live by. It's the code of scoundrels and alleycats not leaders and inspirers. I want no part of it.

Hillary Clinton has taken a lifetime of accomplishments and an opportunity for greatness and flushed it all down the toilet. She has soiled her reputation permanently. I don't trust anything about her. Did she volunteer time at the Children's Defense Fund (Marianne Wright Edelman endorsed Obama) because she cared about children or because she thought it would look good on a resume and increase her husband's chances of getting elected? Did she stay married to Bill Clinton because she loved him or because it was a calculating decision that could lead to the US Senate and the Presidency? Does she support universal health care because she cares or because most Americans support universal health care? I just don't know the answers to these questions anymore. (Or maybe I do know the answers but just can't bring myself around to admitting them.)

I am divorcing the Clintons today, never to vote for them or support them again. These are my "divorce" papers. Regretably for the Clintons, I think there are several million Democrats who filed for divorce before me and several million more who are going to file for divorce after me."

I know if I tried posting a link less people would probably read it. This isn't my writing...but I agree with a lot of its points.

Imitation Is The Sincerest Form Of Flattery

2008-02-15T14:34:00.000-08:00

Sorry for not posting last night, I didn't get home till about 10 at night. I really didn't want to look at a screen or keyboard for the rest of the night, but, yeah...lets continue.

Yesterday/Valentines Day/Single Awareness Day:

Wow, just wow, alright so maybe it wasn't that great, but hey, I can imagine. I have developed two bad habits lately, one being late for class and the other, speeding. Of course I'm going to blame speeding on the earlier problem, hey, hey....circular reasoning. I've gotta make this sound somewhat intelligent to make my innocence look valid. You can realize also if you read this blog that I rant about politics, little did I know I would ever be near it, so close...and how unexciting this first experience was, maybe I was just being bias. Though, midway through the day I found out Chelsea Clinton was going to be stopping at Akron after she went to C.S.U and O.S.U. Well, at first I was a bit irked, but seizing the opportunity, me and a few people campaigned for Obama, signing people up for the official Akron chapter of Students for Obama and giving them some buttons as well. I figure we probably now have 150+ student from just 2 days, it was a nice feeling. Out of respect, we stopped when Chelsea arrived and despite my wishes for the Clinton's to lose, I chose to take/waste some of my time to listen. She's either shy or has poor speaking abilities, bravo for your attempt, but the crowd of Obama supporters would have been bigger, I'm taking this by the amount of buttons that was given out. I have one, it's cute, I swear...though for the sake of not getting in an argument I took it off in front of my dad.

Today-ish:

Anywho, I have a bit of homework to do this weekend, I'll probably try to get it done soon so I can enjoy my weekend to some extent. You know, have a bit of a life, it's cool. I'm not quite sure WHAT I'm going to do, nonetheless I'll probably end up visiting/hanging out with somebody or thing. I've been wanting to go to the hookah bar for probably close to the past month now, a lot of people I know though are hesitant about smoking, so, it's rough trying to find people that are willing. It's still early, so I'll update this tonight, because school was simply just a blank slate today.

Out of respect of The Innovation Of Silence posting my blog on his, I will do the same for him. His blogs are often quite interesting and is a good friend of mine. Despite my often, erm....bitchyness.

Happy Valentines Day

2008-02-13T20:24:00.000-08:00

Today, well, almost today...nevermind, lets just say it's V-Day. I haven't had to buy somebody anything for the past two years! Woo, hah. No, I'm not a tight-ass, do you want a dozen roses? Come onnnn, they look and smell good, plus they're overpriced just for this holiday. Which brings this up, $50!? I need a greenhouse.

So, is it me, or has anybody else heard that our national money deficiency is double what it was last year, mmmm, I feel a year of....more debt, cheers anyone? I mean, I'm pretty sure you'd have to take a couple risks to fix this problem, so...why don't we? I suppose some people would say because of the war on terror....::yawn::
1.) You can protect yourself from terrorist.
2.) You cannot control millions of terrorist.
I mean, hah, Iraq was better off with Sudamn Hussien, maybe.

WHAT'S THIS WHOLE THING ABOUT THE MLB STEROID SCANDAL!? Jesus christ, shoot me, they just HAVE to make it national news and in congress on top of that, this is pathetic. I mean, cause of course I too have 5 year old syringes laying around. All I need now is GHB. Jokiiinggggg, I'm not going to rape anybody, sheesh. I'm not THAT desperate.

Of course many know I'm a Obama supporter, well, good news for other supporters for him as well. Hillary Clinton has to win near 60% of all the delegates of all the next contests to get a certian nod for the bid. The chances are slim and with him in the lead, superdelegates will be more likely to flock to him. Even now, my grandparents believe he'll be the next president.

...okay, so maybe I really don't have too much to talk about, deal with it. Still pondering on taking a break from school.

Oh, here's a couple old poems from my myspace.

Let's take this barge
to a sea so far.
Let this sea swallow us whole
and succumb to it as full.
Let this stellar night become memory
and we'll catch fireflies.
Let ourselves rest
and rid of these pests.
Now my memory is faltering,
I can hardly recall.
The smell of sea water
and the waves' lull.
Oh, but how we blushed
like fireflies so flushed.

On your cheeks,
the color of amber.
Feelings feeding in a frenzy.
Don't stray away.
Feelings may be bleak.
Nor will they last forever.
So lets lay.
We're in no hurry.

Run away butterflies,
more are sure to come.
Shed your love,
and we can soar high.

Resemble me in an utmost opposing way
You falter so few, your simplicity is bliss.
Can not we foretake a walk and sway?
Kiss, kiss me, the defiance of such a potent kiss.
Your sound is not of cacophony.
Refer to such a place of confidence.
Silence me, peace for now to stay.
Angelic is what portrays to a sense
For one to feel as jovial as a fool.
Imagination is a perception.
Memories are a refreshment
A picture is a pool.
Stay here, as your station.
And not only for a session.

I need to keep THIS updated...

2008-02-12T22:28:00.000-08:00

I deleted my old post from two months ago. It's been that long since I've wrote in here, so I'd rather reflect on the present and future.

I transported two of my political blogs from other sites, I may transport more of them with due time.

Anywho, I'll go over how my day went, I need to get some sleep, sorry.

Tuesdays are days I usually dread, I have to stay at school until at least 9:30 on most night because of my less fortunate scheduling. I was in chemistry today, mind you this room was at least 85 degrees without the additional body heat, I was dying, well, nonetheless it put me to sleep. I ended up having a some stranger wake me up telling me school had been canceled due to the snow. Oh, believe me, my day was much better from then on!

Oh yeah, me and Josh, well, more so Josh, I won't take credit for this, but we've been talking about his film ideas and props. The more and more we talk about it, the more I want to break off from school, even be it just say....one fall semester. Even though my participation in his ideas may be a full fledge appearance or one that doesn't involve me, I'd enjoy being around it. It's just a part of me that resonates that I never grasped earlier.
Not too add, I'm probably going to blow some of meh money on art & music supplies this weekend. Who knows, I could end up spending $50 - $300+, it's an obsession, erm...

When I got home today, I probably passed out at least 3 times, partially the reason why I'm up right now. When I did wake up I didn't have much time for a fucking thing, I had to start on homework more less right away, that's not without turning on the news about zeee election. =]

Obama has now won 10 straight and is now leading in all polls. I'm ecstatic. Hell, even my grandparents are questioning/leaning to voting for him. I forgot my dad was perhaps the most racist out of my family, yes, even more so than my grandparents, what are the odds? Nonetheless, I mentioned my excitement to him about Obama's wins tonight and about the only two words I heard from him there on was "Fucking nigger. Kids shouldn't be allowed to vote." I try to tell him that Obama is even half white, but according to my dad he's still a nigger. ::sigh:: I'm really not worrying about it, I keep myself educated on most things he finds useless to participate in, one being elections, he never votes.

Lately I've been attracted to so many people. I think I may be getting lonely? I don't know. I'll admit, some type of relationship wouldn't hurt. It's been since my last posts in December since I've worried about this. Oh well, I'm just going to blame it on hormones.

I'll try to keep up with this a bit more often from now on.

My Politcal Upkeeping...

2008-02-12T22:27:00.000-08:00

As far as many of you know, I support Barack Obama in '08. I'm never going to shove anything down your throat though. I may engage in a friendly debate, but never get angry at me, it's just a civil exchange of ideas with a bit of hope for persuasion towards any of you that may have differing thoughts.

I've been urged by family members to support republicans instead, but in these 8 years, under much which was a republican president along with a congress/senate as well I've learned I'd rather take a chance and go out on a limb. Much would say I'm just a young juvenile kid that doesn't know much, that I'm just going with the crowd. I clearly am not doing any of this, just last year I had supported republicans for another white house term, but then you do some digging and find things out. Not out of ego, but out of experience in my debates with others I am perhaps one of the few people I know that tend to keep up with politics, in my favor or not, trying not to make everything I say bias. I'd rather not lead myself blindlessly into anything, or believing somebody without questioning.

Even people in my generation often get angry at me for introducing facts and history into a debate, often not in their favor. Just this past week I was dicussing with a democrat why he supports Clinton, his response was "He seems shady. He never says the same thing."
My automatic response, though not what I exactly said was does he expect ANY candidate to be like a record player, being able to repeat the same exact thing they said, 100%, from 1/2 year, or however long ago!? Seriously, think of what you are saying, question yourself, question others. I mean this in the most respectful way, some people I have debated with I bet I could hand them a revolver, empty, play russian roulette and hear a gun fire in the distance would think they've been shot. I'm not saying people are unintelligent, but inconsiderate and jump to assumptions & conclusions.

To be continued...

Barack Obama & The Kennedy's

2008-02-12T22:22:00.000-08:00

Caroline Kennedy's support towards Obama is in this quote:
"Over the years, I've been deeply moved by the people who've told me they wished they could feel inspired and hopeful about America the way people did when my father was president," she wrote in the Sunday's edition of The New York Times. "That is why I am supporting a presidential candidate in the Democratic primaries, Barack Obama."

Also from another News Source, Ted Kennedy is willing to support Barack as well:
"ABC News' Rick Klein Reports: Senator Ted Kennedy, D-Mass., will endorse Barack Obama's presidential bid on Monday in Washington, a source close to Kennedy tells ABC News"

I have found out, after Obama's stunning victory that Caroline and Ted Kennedy are now supporters of one of the most truthful canidates we have had in a long time, Barack Obama.

Before I continue on, Obama's victory in South Carolina was amazing, with him achieving a 55% victory in a three way race. That's amazing. He is a movement, he has motivation, he is the future.

I would wish for Clinton supporters, which I know a few, to please take a look at Barack Obama as well as look at the flip-flopping that Hillary has done just to try to scrounge up votes. Barack Obama has hardly even touched his campaign. He's truthful and that's what we need, not the overdone manipulation you get from other canidates.

I would adore for republicans to look at Barack Obama as well. Though it may be asking a lot, but please look at the choices you have for your republican vote. Romney the economist and McCain the warhawk. Though, don't get me wrong, I respect the republicans very much and if Barack Obama is not on the ballot this november, a republican will see my vote.

*I forget her name, but related to the Kennedy's, California's First Lady vowed her support to Obama.