A few things have happened over the past week, not a whole bunch, but some at least.
I had my 19th birthday and I gladly did nothing on that day. No presents, no family, no cake, just peace and a little bit of isolation from the world. I don't feel any older, in fact I almost feel as if I'm younger, not in mentality but in spirit. I ended up going to a show my birthday weekend as well and me and a few other people got in for free for reason that won't be discussed.
Since then though, not too much has been happening. This is my last week of summer classes and I now have a near immunity from failing, which I'm quite glad, because my motivation was beginning to lack beyond my control. I'm actually kinda joyous that school is going to be back in session, it kept me busy and a few things off of my mind, it was also a social tool as well, which has transformed me into bit of a socialite lately. There is good friend, or two of mine that will be leaving for college as well, but the exception of them actually having to move away. It'll probably be a little tough for awhile, but hopefully we'll keep in touch via internet and such. That's not for another 2 weeks or so, I'm good till then.
I also noticed, since I don't buy school clothes and such anymore I always forget about buying clothes. I went shopping a few days and calculated how long its been since I've last shopped, a whopping 9 months. No wonder I hardly have new clothes.
Lately I've also been throwing around the idea of possibly trying out at this local acting/modeling studio near me. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy my major in college, as long as I stay a humanitarian, but I also have a dreams and aspirations still that I'd love to see accomplished.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Friday, August 1, 2008
Birthday Time & Some Selfishness
It's almost my birthday, a couple more days. I'll be turning 19 soon, but that's only a number. If you were to ask me how I felt, I'd probably tell you some number in the young teens, I don't feel any older, just wiser. I tend to try to ignore my age and whatever number it is. You just end up getting stuck in a stereotypical self-awareness and think that your age has something to do with how you act and how you are. Me, myself, I'll act as I please no matter how old I am. I'd rather forget my age and just live.
I don't receive presents anymore, but I also tell my relatives and friends to not worry about it, it's just a hassle to ponder and try to find something I'll like. I tend to get a little bit of money still, just for the sake of it, the family just doesn't find it right if I receive nothing. With that being said, I probably haven't splurged on myself, currency wise, in about 2 years. This is without including buying few necessities like clothes and shoes. I actually have about four ideas of what I could do. I could either save money up and pay my car insurance, get a tattoo that I've been craving, buy a bike, 15 or 30-band equalizer, or nothing. Insurance is a necessity as well as having money, but lately, just for the fun of it I want to get back into freestyle BMX,. I was in it for awhile when I was younger, but I wrecked my bike about 4-5 years ago, bent down handlebars never really suited me. I also want to start playing music again, I quit so long ago.
Since this is my birthday weekend, I think, perhaps, I'll be around visiting. Maybe you'll see me.
I don't receive presents anymore, but I also tell my relatives and friends to not worry about it, it's just a hassle to ponder and try to find something I'll like. I tend to get a little bit of money still, just for the sake of it, the family just doesn't find it right if I receive nothing. With that being said, I probably haven't splurged on myself, currency wise, in about 2 years. This is without including buying few necessities like clothes and shoes. I actually have about four ideas of what I could do. I could either save money up and pay my car insurance, get a tattoo that I've been craving, buy a bike, 15 or 30-band equalizer, or nothing. Insurance is a necessity as well as having money, but lately, just for the fun of it I want to get back into freestyle BMX,. I was in it for awhile when I was younger, but I wrecked my bike about 4-5 years ago, bent down handlebars never really suited me. I also want to start playing music again, I quit so long ago.
Since this is my birthday weekend, I think, perhaps, I'll be around visiting. Maybe you'll see me.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Call Me Trendy...You Vote
So, it's the middle of summer. That has nothing to do with what this blog is about, besides staying cool, the not hot kind. I've been known to have long hair for a long time, for at least close to going on for about 6 years I've had a longer than the average hairstyle.
I'm going back to having short hair. I want to see how I like it, plus it's easier to care for and nice not to have something hanging in your eyes. So, I actually have a couple pictures picked out. I'm going to list the pictures 1 through whatever, I'd like you to tell me which one you prefer the most.
1.)
2.)
3.)
4.)
So, go ahead. Choose which one you like best and I'll get my hair cut later this week in that style.
Now VOTE.
I'm going back to having short hair. I want to see how I like it, plus it's easier to care for and nice not to have something hanging in your eyes. So, I actually have a couple pictures picked out. I'm going to list the pictures 1 through whatever, I'd like you to tell me which one you prefer the most.
1.)
2.)
3.)
4.)
So, go ahead. Choose which one you like best and I'll get my hair cut later this week in that style.
Now VOTE.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
The Grass Is Greener...Somewhere
I've been becoming a little more timid lately. I just seem to be easily pissed off, mostly from myself. If I tried to complain about life, it'd be just infinitely ignorant to do so. I can probably name off more good things than bad, or at least what's bugging me. I know I'm being vague of what's really the problem, but it probably has been mentioned before on this blog somewhere, more than once. I don't feel like beating a dead horse further than I already have.
I can just easily say I've been trying to solve this problem, so I can put ease on myself and be able to bitch and complain about something else. If I had something working for me I'd be in shock and awe.
I'm just feeling lonely.
I can just easily say I've been trying to solve this problem, so I can put ease on myself and be able to bitch and complain about something else. If I had something working for me I'd be in shock and awe.
I'm just feeling lonely.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Respect & Disgust
There are people I have talked to for ages and some for only months, along with some people I haven't talked to in awhile. All these people have made an impact on my life and I care for every single person I mention. Names won't be mentioned, not because I don't care for other to know who I am talking about, but for the section I dedicate to a certain person for that person to only know I'm talking about them. This is my shot at respecting those who I consider friends, and expressing some disgust to those I don't feel so kindly for anymore.
I don't consider anybody a best friend, but you're perhaps one of the truest friends I've ever had. We've had our petty temper tantrums, but I enjoy being able to talk without worry. It was an awkward way to meet, with you getting knocked out. I hope that your dreams of the world come true for you. Believe me, though I won't stop you, if you move away, it'll be a hard time for me.
I started college with no true direction, no friends except the acquaintances from school, you were the first person I met, as I was for you. I wanted to spend more time with you, but I'm shy, now I regret not being as involved of a person as I could be in your life. It was an eventful two semesters, and I hope, I hope I had a positive impact on your life. I know you're busy anymore, as am I, and that's why we don't hang out that much, but I only hope this next semester goes by quickly and you come back to Akron.
I could care less if you read this. How I feel cannot even be expressed in this blog. I can only hope I'm not like you. I fear the more I try to abolish you the closer I come to being you. I have hardly anything to hold dear to me, good memories are hard to come by since there were so few. Nor do I know what to believe what comes out of your mouth, or with the people around you. I wish that I'm just a stronger person from the burden you caused me.
We haven't known each other too long, but it's been close to year almost. I use to be mean towards you, even though it was just a way to not be shy. I'm hardly shy to you anymore, I try to be as open as I can towards you. You've always been an extremely nice, fun, and witty person. I found you amazingly attractive, still do, and have liked you ever since I've met you. You are with somebody now though, I respect the highly. I hope we can continue to know eachother and have some amazing, and fun times.
I swear I met you through accident of knowing your brother. I've known you close to three years. We haven't talked lately as much as we do, but you're often busy with work. You're leaving for college this fall, that'll be tough to cope with, even if we don't chill all that much. It doesn't matter what it is, we can talk about it. We are constant debators with eachother. Funny you're still only one of the few that call me Jack. Use to have such a "highschool" crush on you, but as far as I know, we are close friends, close friends that seem hard to get and harder to keep.
I consider you my brother, through spirit. Recent things for you have been rough, hopefully everything situates itself out. No matter how things lay themselves out, I will still continue talking to you. You totally are in sync with yourself, who you are, and with other people, that's envious.
I haven't known you too long. So far you seem to be such a fun spirited person and free-willed person in life. Besides your parents ALREADY not liking me, we've got to chill more often, I hardly know you it seems.
I've promised you for two years we would meet...so, yeah, that's a long time. You are such a witty person that's fun to talk to, of course you swear I live a boring life. So, besides you already meeting people I've known from other states, we will meet this summer. Be it at Quizno's or not.
I thought I was finally getting back in touch with a person of my life, but maybe you're not all that different. I don't know what to type of think of your actions of recently.
If I choose to continue this, I'll just copy past it into myspace, or maybe I'll just continue it on here. I didn't mean to limit people to how much I gave them, I just tried to get what I was feeling out.
You were also one of the first people I met at Akron. I kinda regret not getting to know you better sooner. You've come to being a really exciting person that's full of life. I tended to often be weird around you, and flirtatious in weird ways , but now I'm quite open with you. I hope you come back to Akron so you don't live so far away and I can finally get to know you better and become better friends with you.
I don't consider anybody a best friend, but you're perhaps one of the truest friends I've ever had. We've had our petty temper tantrums, but I enjoy being able to talk without worry. It was an awkward way to meet, with you getting knocked out. I hope that your dreams of the world come true for you. Believe me, though I won't stop you, if you move away, it'll be a hard time for me.
I started college with no true direction, no friends except the acquaintances from school, you were the first person I met, as I was for you. I wanted to spend more time with you, but I'm shy, now I regret not being as involved of a person as I could be in your life. It was an eventful two semesters, and I hope, I hope I had a positive impact on your life. I know you're busy anymore, as am I, and that's why we don't hang out that much, but I only hope this next semester goes by quickly and you come back to Akron.
I could care less if you read this. How I feel cannot even be expressed in this blog. I can only hope I'm not like you. I fear the more I try to abolish you the closer I come to being you. I have hardly anything to hold dear to me, good memories are hard to come by since there were so few. Nor do I know what to believe what comes out of your mouth, or with the people around you. I wish that I'm just a stronger person from the burden you caused me.
We haven't known each other too long, but it's been close to year almost. I use to be mean towards you, even though it was just a way to not be shy. I'm hardly shy to you anymore, I try to be as open as I can towards you. You've always been an extremely nice, fun, and witty person. I found you amazingly attractive, still do, and have liked you ever since I've met you. You are with somebody now though, I respect the highly. I hope we can continue to know eachother and have some amazing, and fun times.
I swear I met you through accident of knowing your brother. I've known you close to three years. We haven't talked lately as much as we do, but you're often busy with work. You're leaving for college this fall, that'll be tough to cope with, even if we don't chill all that much. It doesn't matter what it is, we can talk about it. We are constant debators with eachother. Funny you're still only one of the few that call me Jack. Use to have such a "highschool" crush on you, but as far as I know, we are close friends, close friends that seem hard to get and harder to keep.
I consider you my brother, through spirit. Recent things for you have been rough, hopefully everything situates itself out. No matter how things lay themselves out, I will still continue talking to you. You totally are in sync with yourself, who you are, and with other people, that's envious.
I haven't known you too long. So far you seem to be such a fun spirited person and free-willed person in life. Besides your parents ALREADY not liking me, we've got to chill more often, I hardly know you it seems.
I've promised you for two years we would meet...so, yeah, that's a long time. You are such a witty person that's fun to talk to, of course you swear I live a boring life. So, besides you already meeting people I've known from other states, we will meet this summer. Be it at Quizno's or not.
I thought I was finally getting back in touch with a person of my life, but maybe you're not all that different. I don't know what to type of think of your actions of recently.
If I choose to continue this, I'll just copy past it into myspace, or maybe I'll just continue it on here. I didn't mean to limit people to how much I gave them, I just tried to get what I was feeling out.
You were also one of the first people I met at Akron. I kinda regret not getting to know you better sooner. You've come to being a really exciting person that's full of life. I tended to often be weird around you, and flirtatious in weird ways , but now I'm quite open with you. I hope you come back to Akron so you don't live so far away and I can finally get to know you better and become better friends with you.
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