Uncertianity

A few things have happened over the past week, not a whole bunch, but some at least.

I had my 19th birthday and I gladly did nothing on that day. No presents, no family, no cake, just peace and a little bit of isolation from the world. I don't feel any older, in fact I almost feel as if I'm younger, not in mentality but in spirit. I ended up going to a show my birthday weekend as well and me and a few other people got in for free for reason that won't be discussed.
Since then though, not too much has been happening. This is my last week of summer classes and I now have a near immunity from failing, which I'm quite glad, because my motivation was beginning to lack beyond my control. I'm actually kinda joyous that school is going to be back in session, it kept me busy and a few things off of my mind, it was also a social tool as well, which has transformed me into bit of a socialite lately. There is good friend, or two of mine that will be leaving for college as well, but the exception of them actually having to move away. It'll probably be a little tough for awhile, but hopefully we'll keep in touch via internet and such. That's not for another 2 weeks or so, I'm good till then.
I also noticed, since I don't buy school clothes and such anymore I always forget about buying clothes. I went shopping a few days and calculated how long its been since I've last shopped, a whopping 9 months. No wonder I hardly have new clothes.
Lately I've also been throwing around the idea of possibly trying out at this local acting/modeling studio near me. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy my major in college, as long as I stay a humanitarian, but I also have a dreams and aspirations still that I'd love to see accomplished.

Birthday Time & Some Selfishness

It's almost my birthday, a couple more days. I'll be turning 19 soon, but that's only a number. If you were to ask me how I felt, I'd probably tell you some number in the young teens, I don't feel any older, just wiser. I tend to try to ignore my age and whatever number it is. You just end up getting stuck in a stereotypical self-awareness and think that your age has something to do with how you act and how you are. Me, myself, I'll act as I please no matter how old I am. I'd rather forget my age and just live.

I don't receive presents anymore, but I also tell my relatives and friends to not worry about it, it's just a hassle to ponder and try to find something I'll like. I tend to get a little bit of money still, just for the sake of it, the family just doesn't find it right if I receive nothing. With that being said, I probably haven't splurged on myself, currency wise, in about 2 years. This is without including buying few necessities like clothes and shoes. I actually have about four ideas of what I could do. I could either save money up and pay my car insurance, get a tattoo that I've been craving, buy a bike, 15 or 30-band equalizer, or nothing. Insurance is a necessity as well as having money, but lately, just for the fun of it I want to get back into freestyle BMX,. I was in it for awhile when I was younger, but I wrecked my bike about 4-5 years ago, bent down handlebars never really suited me. I also want to start playing music again, I quit so long ago.

Since this is my birthday weekend, I think, perhaps, I'll be around visiting. Maybe you'll see me.